Humans are romantic creatures. We find joy in writing poetry, spicy romance letters, and even novels if we’re really ambitious. We find such comfort in literature that we conceal our affectionate memos in glass bottles, and whisk them to sea in the hope that it’ll reach another romantic soul – someday. The earliest known message in a bottle was tossed by the Greek philosopher, Theophrastus, in order to prove the geography of the Mediterranean. In the 16th century, Queen Elizabeth made it illegal to open found message bottles without the approval of authorities. Apparently, an illiterate fisherman found a message bottle containing sensitive British military information. In response to this, Her Majesty appointed an official “Uncorker of Ocean Bottles”. On a more poignant note, a bottle was found on the Irish shores containing the words: “From Titanic. Goodbye all. Burke of Glanmire, Cork”.

In 1996, a Canadian fisherman named “Harold Hacket” chucked a Pepsi bottle into the ocean as joke of sorts. When he got a response from the Magdalene Islands, Hacket made it his civil duty to reach as many people as possible. He has since thrown over 9000 Hail Mary’s into the Pacific, and has received around 5000 replies! One couple even invited him to sail the world on their yacht! We think that it’s time someone one-upped Mr. Hacket. This USB Bottle will do just that. With 16 gigabytes of memory, you’ll be sending out more information than Harold could in a lifetime (someone actually did the math)! The glass bottle makes its first journey (from the warehouse to your doorstep) in a fancy little box, and includes high-quality paper if you’re the old-fashioned kind.